Assault on The Vault of the Ancient Bonglords (2013)



A letter from The Linus Pauling Quartet dated 22 January 2013 and addressed to all citizens.

Lo, I bring good tidings,

Yea, for today is the official release date of The Linus Pauling Quartet’s epic 3 CD Anthology & Druids and Demons Module:  Assault on the Vault of the Ancient Bonglords.

The anthology is no mere 3 CD Anthology CD set but also a fully playable module in the style of the classic paper and pencil RPGs.  Three CDs, a Module, and a 20 sided die.  Limited edition of 100 physical copies and the remaining stock is available for sale on-line at ye olde CD Baby shoppe today!


Prior to this date, only a few souls were deemed worthy and wise enough by Stephanus Finlus (the band’s Level 9 Half-Elven Mage) for him to dispel the arcane lock spell set by him to protect the contents of the module.  Yet, Lord Hightower, perhaps privy to dark omens or seeking his own enrichment, took umbrage at the will of the mage and sent his trusted servant, Clinton The Heiderian, to the land of Yarrl bearing with him a letter containing an urgent plea for the massive 420 page tome to be released for human scholars.  In response, Finlus conferred with the Sorcerer of Sims and the High Toad Priest Council of Yarrl for much of the winter.  While the council agreed with Hightower’s arguments for releasing the massive 420 page tome, they remained suspicious of his aims and so High Priestess Phrowenia of Bosgin, proposed a novel solution – an enchantment that would reveal only those 28 pages deemed suitable for the commoner to most readers yet allow the remaining 392 pages to be revealed should the reader be privy to the ancient ways of the mystic and reclusive Wood Elves of Raliech,.  Thwarted by this clever legerdemain, Hightower stewed in his castle, unable to unlock the full text and vowing to seek other means to attain his mysterious and well guarded ends.

It is by this turn of events that the Linus Pauling Quartet is able to bring you this module in its full form on this day.   Buyers of the the limited edition set can hold the full 420 page tome in their hands while others can simply download a PDF from the band’s website but A WORD OF WARNING – most readers will only see a mere 28 pages for the reasons explained above.  Regardless of what you can or cannot see, even at the shorter 28 pages, the module is fully playable.

So grab some chips and Mountain Dew.  Set up the dining room table.  Pop on the three CD set (or downloaded MP3s) and get ready for the best 3CD Anthology / RPG game ever!

Available Now on
CDBaby ITunes, E-Music, Amazon, Spotify, and other on-line music services.




CD Baby Link (for pshysical copies) :

Theme Song Download (not available in set):

Assault on the Vault of the Ancient Bonglords – Official Video (2012)
(YouTube version:

Track Listing (curated by Lord Hightower from the pre-Homeskool years: 1994 – 2007):

CD 1
1. Linus Theme  5:49
2. Luis Black / Roll Out the Bong  10:32
3. Monkey  2:27
4. Dance of the Bug People  5:02
5. Beer, Women and Sunflower Seeds  2:47
6. Possum Love (Live)  3:13
7. Drunkest Man  6:16
8. Cole Porter  5:12
9. Cannonball  2:40
10. La Tapatia  5:23
11. Old Crow  4:32
12. 40 Oz.  3:12
13. Southern Pine  5:44
14. Hawg!!!  10:53

15. Penis Free Zone  2:23
16. Class of ’85  1:50
17. Larry’s Song  5:36
18. Henry Floats  3:52
19. Hendrix’s Boots  5:15
20. Sunn Beta  3:45
21. Insomnia  3:36
22. Interstellar Absolute Power Bootycall Explosion  4:18
23. Brain  6:32
24. Mastodon (Dunlavy) [feat. Lp4]  2:42
25. Switzer  6:39
26. Alien Abduction  8:52
27. Waiting for the Axe to Fall  6:26

28. Hamburger Girl  3:46
29. Friendswood Development Company  6:14
30. Lost in Darkness and Distance  7:40
31. Dartania  7:01
32. Turtle Song  4:58
33. The Eye of God  2:31
34. Colour Out of Space  10:20
35. Two Artifacts  5:31
36. Rats (Live Improv)  5:52
37. Jason Bill (Live)  5:27
38. Thorn  11:15
39. Porno in the Sink (Rock Mix)


Album Stream on YouTube

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