Big Announcement! 2014 Tour Dates!!!!!!

For years, you’ve asked us to tour outside of Texas and while we’ve played a few festivals over the years we’ve never really done a big, Big, BIG tour before.  Well that day has arrived as over the next few weeks we will roll our way onto an adventure like never before.  Charlie has been busy preparing maps and pouring over as much material as he can in preparation for this and we think he’s booked us a pretty awesome tour.  The kick-off, of course, is this Saturday at Rudyard’s with Dallas’ epic heavy Wo Fat. From there we’ll have stops in the Dungeons of the Slave Lords, the rustic and charming Keep on the Borderlands, a quick stop to see the Shrine of the Kuo Tua (which is better to see in the Spring when the peonies bloom, but we’re on a schedule), the real happenin’ college town of Ravenloft, the scenic Forbidden City and their enthusiastic Dwellers, the wild and wooly Barrier Peaks, a required stop at the Temple of Elemental Evil (Larry is really into their chili dogs!), the world-famous White Plume Mountain (yes, THAT White Plume Mountain), and then winding up back in Houston for CCSD’s Novembeerfest!  Should be fun!  See you guys soon!

C is for Cthulhu 2014 Tour Dates 

10/25 – Rudyard’s British Pub
10/26 – Dungeons of the Slave Lords
10/27 – The Keep on the Borderlands
10/30 – Shrine of the Kuo Tua
10/31 – Ravenloft
11/1 – Forbidden City
11/2 – Barrier Peaks.
11/6 – Temple of Elemental Evil
11/7 – White Plume Mountain
11/8 – CCSD Novembeerfest

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Watch the “C is for Cthulhu” trailer!!!

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It’s official – The C is for Cthulhu Video is done!!!


Wooooop!  Animated GIF Hi-Five!!!!!

Wooooop! Animated GIF Hi-Five!!!!!


Break out the Champagne, folks!  At 7:09PM GMT today, Clinton was the last to review the “C is for Cthulhu” video and give it a thumbs up!  It’s now 100% official; this huge beast of a project is done!!!

To give you an idea about how big a deal it is, keep in mind that we have been working on this for over a year.  The earliest e-mail that I can find that mentions the video as a storyboard is from August 3rd of 2013:

“…what I have worked out so far is Stevie (as some cross between Ahab and Herzog) leading an expedition to the island.  One of the members gets cold feet and Stevie pulls a gun on him to get him to continue.  The guy refuses and Stevie shoots him.  The rest of it isn’t fully worked out but the expedition continues and they read hieroglyphs or runes on some great door and push it open.   Cthulhu emerges and they flee in panic.  Cthulhu eats Stevie’s crew.  Stevie is cornered into the rocks and jumps into the ocean.  As the songs ends he washes ashore barely alive.”

So, assuming I wrote that not long after working out the first storyboard…let’s call it August 1st… Jeez!  That’s one year, two months, and 10 days from start to finish!!

And that’s not even counting back when we were just talking about crazy junk like this one idea we had where Cthulhu would attack railroad cars, pick up a Lone Star Beer  tanker, and drink it which would set Stevie into a rage that would make him grow 500 times bigger and get into a Godzilla fight with Cthulhu.  Wow!  Actually, come to think of it, that was a pretty boss idea!

Anyhow, it’s done with the local premiere happening at Rudz on October 25 and the world premiere happening on The Big Takeover’s website on the 28th.  Thanks everyone who helped out.  Here are some pics to recap this whole insane process.


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7″ and Video Release countdown – (Part 3) In which we describe the madness of Clinton Heider and the true story of “C is for Cthulhu”



Steve keeping a safe distance from Clinton and the double neck.  Photo by Francisco Montes used by permission from the Houston Press

Clinton and his double neck. Photo by Francisco Montes used by permission from the Houston Press

We found him in a horrendous state.   Plagued as he was by fetid, corrosive dreams that consumed his fevered mind, Clinton Heider writhed in his sleep as if vainly attempting to escape the cold embrace of death…or perhaps racing towards its arms in a futile escape from something much more terrifying.  He awoke, grabbing each of us with such strength that his fingernails pierced skin through clothing.   With eyes that burned – consumed by an incomprehensible madness – he shouted, “Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!”  These words meant little to us when uttered but, as time passed, we came to understand that his words were not borne of hysterical delusions but a result of his having seen beyond our realm and into the true, unimaginable horror that lies hidden underneath the waves.

Slowly, as the brise-filled shroud pulled away from his consciousness, Heider’s jaundiced hand took to his guitar to banish the demons that plagued his soul for those many weeks. “C is for Cthulhu” is not simply a metal song with a truly awesome drop-C metal riff, it is a baleful cry – an exorcism on vinyl – of the horrors to come when the Great Old One rises.


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Test Pressings Approved. Filming Complete. Holy Crapola! It’s actually all coming together!

The test pressings from A&R!

The pink(!!!) test pressings from A&R!

Behold the test pressings for “C is for Cthulhu” in all their pinkish glory, fresh from the A&R Records plant in Dallas.  Clinton listened to all five copies and gave them all a thumbs up which means we are on track to get these by the record release show!!!!  Yeahyuss!!!  Clearly the faeries and magical woodland creatures have been working overtime.

If you are wondering why they are pink, A&R was running a large order for someone and our test pressing were thrown in somewhere during that run.  The final versions we will receive will be in red but it’s kind of neat to get colored test pressings.

Oh but wait that is not all the good news from last week…

on the video front…Victory!


Celebrating the final shot of the film at Rudz.

Yes we shot the final, Final, FINAL scene of the video last week.  Actually it was anti climactic – just a simple shot of Stevie writing in a diary at Rice University – but the fact that we were able to finish and move entirely into post was awesome.  The shoot was somewhat funny as we seemed to have picked a spot frequented by walking tours.  So when you see the shot of Stevie writing in his diary, just know that there is a whole gaggle of tourists just off frame.

RenderingAfter a couple celebratory rounds at Rudz, it was straight back to the Mac to knock out as much as possible that evening. I’ve been doing post on the rest of the video over the last few months so this was largely dropping in the new scene and the text that went along with it.  By 1 am, I had a pretty solid cut and uploaded it to get folk’s feedback and within a few days, I’d say we are 99.99% done.  I simply have some credits to add or update.  (Admittedly, there are two scenes with some minor keying issues but they aren’t ones I can really fix so they will simply have to stand.)  Long story short, the whole epic will be ready to go in less than a week which means we are on schedule for this as well!!! Double Yeahyusss!!!

Oh and did I mention that The Big Takeover will have the honor of premiering the video on-line? Well, they are!  Tuesday 28 October 2014 is the date so mark your calendars.   Of course, if you happen to attend our release show on the 25th you’ll get to see it a few days earlier.

So all in all, the whole plan is coming together quite nicely.  Cross you fingers that our luck holds.  And a big thanks to all who have helped out in this big mess.



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7″ and Video Release countdown – (Part 2) In which we discuss “My Desire” and the awesomeness of the Pain Teens

We’re posting our weekly press releases here as we countdown the weeks until the record release show. This week, it’s all about the B-Side…



The Pain Teens (1991)

The Pain Teens (1991)

There were a lot of Pain Teens shows I’d seen over the years but one always stuck in my head. It was sometime in the late 80’s or early 90’s… I can’t recall.. but it was your typical night at the Axiom – a room filled with sweaty kids bobbing their heads to one of Houston’s most revered bands as Scott Ayer’s twisted guitar lines bounced off the walls and Bliss Blood commanded the stage in full-on dominatrix mode. She reached back and cracked her whip and when it came down, it hit some poor sod square in the face. Horrified, Bliss broke character and bent down at the edge of the stage saying, “Oh sorry! Are you OK?” It was funny in a way but also charming to see and for me it perfectly captured what made the Pain Teens so admirable; they weren’t simply phenomenal musicians and performers, but they were also good and real people. You still can catch Scott playing around town rocking with with The Electric Knives then switching hats to play some country tunes in Dead Cowboys. Meanwhile, Bliss has been doing some amazing work of her own in New York City with the Moonlighters, Delta Dreambox, Bliss Blood and Al Street, and… well she’s so busy it’s just easier to just direct you to In short, they’ve never stopped creating and challenging themselves.

But back to the Pain Teens. Often they are simply described as an industrial noise band but they never rested on their laurels. They constantly played with and refined their sound by drawing influences from all over. Sure, with Scott Ayers’ distinctive guitar and Bliss Bloods’ unique voice and lyrics the band could never NOT sound like the Pain Teens but consider the range they did play with:

Noisy experimental music, swimming in bonkers guitars, tape loops, and churning rhythms:
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Fucked up Gothic industrial:
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Insane instrumental rockers:
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Shoegazy songs with pretty guitar lines:
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Hell, even a James Bond movie theme…
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and straight up pop:
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They were definitely a big deal for a reason. Funny enough, given the band’s sophisticated experimental nature, my favorite song is actually one of its simplest – “My Desire.” It’s a pounding, primal song by Bliss that manages to give no quarter and simply beats the crap out of you with just two notes (E and A#). Now, here is the thing about “simple” songs; they’re hard. It’s so much about feel, texture, energy, tone, and conviction that just learning how to play the notes is never enough. Here, check this live performance of the song and try to tell me you aren’t pinned to the wall by how many Gs of heavy they are dealing!



Which brings me to the B side of the upcoming 7″….

CisForCthulhu-RecordReleasePoster-WebSee, a while back Ralph Armin (another tireless Houston music adventurer ) was putting together a Pain Teens tribute comp and I immediately jumped up and down to do “My Desire!” We got dibs but but of course that was met with a horrible realization, “Oh shit! Were doing My Desire!” It’s a doozy of a song to get right and I was honestly worried if we could pull it off but auxiliary member Carol Sandin walked up to the microphone at the studio and belted Bliss’ lyrics like her life depended on it and, at that moment (while I would never suggest we could surpass the original), I knew that we could at least come out with a pretty damn good version that tipped its hat at the original while still delivering the Texas Psych/ knuckle dragging/ chimp rock thing we kind of do and in the end, everyone had a blast at the recording session. Unfortunately, the anthology fell through and we had to sit on this track for a while. When we decided to release “C is for Cthulhu,” it just seemed like a perfect compliment to the A side. So there you have it.

Did we succeed? Did we fail? Well that’s for you, the listeners, to decide when you hear it. What I CAN tell you is that not only will Carol Sandin join us on stage to perform the B-Side but Scott Ayers himself will be sitting-in to play guitar at the record release.

I won’t lie to you; as a guitarist and a fan of his work, I am both thrilled and terrified by this.

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7″ and Video Release countdown – (Part 1) In Which The Linus Pauling Quartet seeks the aid of Wo Fat

With a mere five weeks from the upcoming “C is for Cthulhu,” our trusty PR agent Nicolas Pan Paniscus has been hard at work churning out press releases.  Unfortunately, being a bonobo chimp, most of his press releases read like this:

fdhjospfoj dpo joig099g v8uguog ougoungt uvnun 8089oji gj  g ioiooi o eo87g qojeg gpo pokj p[lg ik [wkwpp pe ojep ojkp[g gleglp ekep jupj p tp oj pohp[j go geigj

While we did concede that it was at least more  intelligible than a Roger Godell news conference, to us this read as utter gibberish.  Thankfully, Larry (well versed linguist that he is) soon recognized it as a long lost strain of an ancient and moribund African language.  Larry dutifully translated the text and the result is the first of our weekly press releases that we are sending out to various media folks.  Here is what he wrote:



The Mighty Wo Fat


Newest Album: The Conjuring:

Yeah, for on Saturday 25th of October of this year, the five members of the Linus Pauling Quartet will pour their latest vat of molten metal over the battlements of Castle Rudyard’s and onto the unsuspecting crowd clamoring up its walls.  Normally, we would tell you tales of these five valiant warriors.  We could discuss, for example, the episode where Clinton Heider – renowned for his 10d6 soloing attack when he brandishes his double neck – almost perished at the hands of an antediluvian DEC 10000 AXP;  ancient though the beast was, it managed to survive these years  in its cold, dark chamber on the fumes of its own OpenVMS AXP. But that tale is for another press release….

CisForCthulhu-RecordReleasePoster-WebThis week, we instead wish to shed some light upon another group of manly men, trudging from the North Country to our humid Lowlands.  Yeah , for when the Linus Pauling Quartet sought aid in the forthcoming battle, they sought the aid of only the most mighty and wise of the Stoner Rock wizards – the trio often spoken of only in whispers of “Wo Fat.”  It was not easy to reach these men, for these masters lived in a land they call Dallas which lay many miles away along the way of the 45th.  Yet, on his mighty steed Falcor did young Charlie Ebersbaker ride to Dallas – past many a truck stop and strip club – and return in a fortnight with news that the trio had agreed to assist the LP4 and aid would soon come.

But who are these Wizards?  While little is known we will try to divulge what we can.  Kent Stump is the master in the ways of the 6-string, his vocal chants call up the dark spirits of the blackest of dirty sludgy metal.  As dark and malevolent as his riffs may seem, have no doubt, for his licks speak of true virtue.  Maidens swoon, villains cower, and the gods of metal weep when he strikes.  Tim “The Enchanter” Wilson is no less a wizard to be trifled with for his incursions into the low spectral arts has been known to cut through even the thickest defenses.  It is a known fact that mount Kovddoskaisi formed when a foolish Finnish farmer, dared mock his 4 stringed staff after Tim saved him from a flood that had overtaken the valley.  Taken aback by the farmer’s insolence and ingratitude, he rang one note and in an instant the mountain burst from the ground with a force that sent the farmer’s cottage, his livestock, and his family into the Barents Sea.  Never should one cross those who deal in the Low metal arts.  The last wizard, Michael Walter, commands the elements with the two wands he wields.   His ritualistic pounding brings forth lightning, fire, wind, and water that emanates from his pores and into his drums.  Armies have fallen, beasts torn asunder, and ziggurats have toppled at even his most subtle of beats. Make no mistake, if you worship at the feet of false metal, only ashes will remain should you be so unlucky as to cross their path but if ye be man or woman who worships truly at the altar of metal, these wizards, nay GODS of Stoner Rock will bring you the fabled Rock you seek.

If ye be true to metal, then come see them as they open for the Linus Pauling Quartet on 25 October.

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Knights in Satan’s Service show, the latest news on the upcoming 7″, and Two Guys Pizzeria

Steve keeping a safe distance from Clinton and the double neck.  Photo by Francisco Montes used by permission from the Houston Press

Steve keeping a safe distance from Clinton and the double neck. Photo by Francisco Montes used by permission from the Houston Press


Knights in Satan’s Service Show Recap

You know how things go, we play a show then a geological era later we post about it. Well, this is no different. Last Saturday we played the record release for the Knights in Satan’s Service record release at Fitzgerald’s. I’ll admit I was kind of dreading the show because I was doing a lot of physical activity that afternoon so I was expecting to be utterly destroyed by the time we got there but a good 30 minute cat nap on the floor of the green room and I was good as gold. Then, to make the evening appear even more promising, the guy who billed himself as the trash guy (he was in charge of the trash detail I guess), came in and ,upon seeing sad beerless cooler, proclaimed it unacceptable then dutifully promised to see it filled with the finest in canned bumy juice he could gather (which ended up being Lone Star). (Last time we played there we had to go procure our own beer which seemed oh so unbecoming so this was a step-up for us.) Now rested and beered-up is pretty solid but toss in the Hell City Kings appearing and having Bill Fool take the green room “stage” to go off on a million insane stories that would make even Keith Richards’ eras prick up (and will not to be repeated here) pretty much sealed the deal that it was going to be a great night.

I got to see a little bit of opening band Jody Seabody and the Whirls’ set before our set and it was pretty cool high energy stuff. No too much of it though as we had to prep for our set and I have to say that I came away pretty happy with the set. Some small flubs here of course – Steve’s bass cut out during “She Bad, She Thowed” for example – but overall a pretty good one and we got a lot of compliments from folks we’d never seen before so I guess I can chalk that up as a good evening for us. The other bands were pretty cool too. The aforementioned Hell City Kings played a great set. It was cool to see Christian Best back in the band (albeit this time behind a bass) while Bill Fool took the role of front man with great aplomb. The Freakouts won the gear wars with a wall of single cabinet double stacks reaching from end to end of the stage. Surprisingly not as loud as you’d expect but damn, did they look cool and they played a pretty awesome set to back it up too! Ex-optimists put on a fun set downstairs and their shoe gaze take on “God Gave Rock and Roll” was pretty mind blowin’.

Last up was Funeral Horse who simply killed it. Now here is a funny thing about FH. A long long while back I first saw the band over at Rudz. At that time, the bassist who was playing had been there for a mere week and the drummer was at best passable. In short, the deck was stacked against them. It was just felt like a show where a band was just trying to get through it while the brains of the band, Walter Carlos, nervously tossed off jokes that fell flat the entire night. No doubt a bad night for the band but here is the thing – despite that experience, all I’d heard was how awesome the band was live which ran completely against what I saw that night. In the meantime, their album came out (which was pretty solid) but the backwash of that night still kind of sat there in the back of my throat so I was kind of hesitant about what to expect this evening despite all the good word of mouth. Well, this show seemed to firmly place that Rudz show as an anomaly – a product of a band leader in search of a band to lead. In the months since then, not only has Walter found a backing band that can follow him on his most insane flights of fancy but those two cats aren’t shy of leading the charge when necessary. The result was a fun and ass whoopin’ set – a real hoot to see a band click so beautifully with the right personnel. So kudos guys on delivering the set of the evening.

Right! So, Show Pictures, eh?! OK, here you are. The ones in black and white here are used by courteous permission of Houston Press whose Francisco Montes stood behind the lens (jump to this link for more pics of the show).  The color pics are from our good pal, Luis Black.


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Meanwhile – 7″ update

Here is how every one of our vinyl releases go.

  1. Ramon gets everyone to agree on a release date (assuming that if the band doesn’t set one, nothing will ever get done) which sets the ball in motion.
  2. Eventually, things are mailed to the pressing plant and/or the cutters.
  3. Clinton will soon become the band Cassandra and begin to spout prophecies of incompetency fueled doom from the temple of Apollo.
  4. Ramon then counters by painting the release schedule as no problem because faeries and magical woodland creatures are hard at work making sure that never will a Linus project come in late.
  5. The matter and anti-matter nature of this will eventually evolve into a beer soaked screaming match that will lead the digital prophet Charlie to exclaim “Good God, man.  WHY do we do this to ourselves … EVERY … TIME?  Why are we releasing vinyl?  It’s expensive, it a pain in the ass, and it, at best, breaks even! Why? Why? Why?”
  6. The record then appears on time for the record release a mere 5 minutes before the record release show starts.  The records look fantastic and everyone is thrilled.  Clinton thinks to himself, “We got lucky, this time!”  while Ramon goes off to thank the faeries and magical woodland creatures for not letting the band down.  Meanwhile Charlie, realizing that this is just another LP4 Pralaya in an endlessly repeating cycle of goofiness, shakes his head.

Right now we are in between the fifth and sixth LP4 Yuga.  Last week Aardvark said they sent out the stampers to A&R in Dallas and this week A&R told us they received the stampers and would have test pressings ready for us some time next week.  If the test pressings comes in a dud, we will fall back to number three in the LP4 vinyl cycle but if they check out next week, we should be in good shape for October’s release.   So here’s crossing our fingers that the faeries and magical woodland creatures are on the job.


Oh and a small side note…

I often hit up Two Guys Pizzeria.  They make some good pies and the owner, funny enough, is actually a fan of our music.  Well, the other day I was talking to him while ordering some slices and he mentioned that his daughter really liked “The Road.”  I mentioned how funny that is given we don’t play songs from that EP live because they are kind of an anomaly and they are also outside my vocal range.  But still, it was nice to hear that, despite the low key nature of and the unusually specific audience intended for that release, that it made some connection with someone out there.  So, not a big deal but just kind of, “Oh, that’s neat.” kind of thing.


OK, Until next time folks,
Keep on Rockin’ in the Free World

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Oh Shit! So, this is happening!!!!!



This poster should tell you all you need to know….

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Test Lacquers are APPROVED Test Lacquer High-Five! 

Helks yeah!   After a skippy round with the first Test Lacquer from Aardvark, the second Test Lacquer for “C is for Cthulhu” arrived yesterday and it was flawless.  We are back on track!  Nice job Aardvark folks!

Now they just send the plate over to the pressing plant and, crossing our fingers, they will have it back to us in time for the October release.  With a bit over two months to go and the plating work done by Aardvark, we should be in good shape.



It was starting to look pretty gloomy there with everyone’s crazy schedule but looks like Wednesday August 27 is going to be the date to finish the most critical remaining scenes in the video.

Makana has had a bunch of Mixed Martial Arts bouts going on (yes, she is a MMA fighter – awesomeness in spades!!)  and she’s been too busy training for those fights so we’ve had to put shooting on hold for a while but she’ll have a break from kicking ass and chewing gum so now we are back on track!  I’ve scheduled a whole day of work from my day job to prepare the set for that evening’s shoot and everyone else is ready for an evening of standing in front of a green screen.   By my estimate, I alone am looking at a 12-16 hour day for maybe 90 seconds of footage.  That’s nutters but par for the course.  What can I say except welcome to the crazy world of “film.”

After that is done, all we have left is one short, on-location shot in Galveston for the epilogue and a nightmare scene with Christian Best.   In other words, after the 27th, we’re pretty much in the home stretch. Woop!


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